Many expats in Germany are not rude — but they sound rude.
This happens because politeness in German does not work the same way as in English.
In English, politeness often comes from tone, friendliness, and soft words. In German, politeness comes from structure, precision, and the right verbs.
This guide shows you how to sound polite in German at work without sounding weak, uncertain, or artificial.
Every German sentence includes a phonetic reading so you can use it confidently in meetings, emails, and daily work conversations.
1) Why politeness in German feels different
German politeness is not emotional. It is procedural.
You are polite when you:
- use the correct verb form
- show respect for roles and time
- avoid unnecessary ambiguity
Smiling more does not make you sound more polite in German. Choosing the right sentence does.
2) Sie vs du: the foundation of politeness
The biggest politeness signal in German is Sie vs du.
At work, default to Sie unless explicitly invited otherwise.
Können wir uns duzen? (KÖN-nen veer oons DOO-tsen) — Can we use du with each other?
Gerne, dann duzen wir uns. (GER-neh, dan DOO-tsen veer oons) — Gladly, then let’s use du.
Never switch to du unilaterally. That is considered impolite.
3) How to make requests sound polite
Direct English requests often sound rude when translated literally.
German politeness relies on modal verbs.
Too direct
Schicken Sie mir das Dokument. (SHIK-en zee meer das doh-koo-MENT) — Send me the document.
Polite and correct
Könnten Sie mir bitte das Dokument schicken? (KÖN-ten zee meer BIT-teh das doh-koo-MENT SHIK-en) — Could you please send me the document?
Könnten + bitte is your safest politeness formula.
4) Using „bitte“ correctly
Bitte is powerful — but placement matters.
Könnten Sie mir bitte helfen? (KÖN-ten zee meer BIT-teh HEL-fen) — Could you please help me?
Bitte helfen Sie mir. (BIT-teh HEL-fen zee meer) — Please help me.
The first sounds neutral‑polite. The second can sound urgent or commanding depending on tone.
5) Sounding polite in German emails
Email politeness in German is highly structured.
Polite openings
Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren, (zair geh-EEHR-teh DAH-men oont HAIR-ren) — Dear Sir or Madam,
Sehr geehrter Herr Müller, (zair geh-EEHR-ter hair MÜL-ler) — Dear Mr. Müller,
Sehr geehrte Frau Schmidt, (zair geh-EEHR-teh frow SHMIT) — Dear Ms. Schmidt,
Polite closings
Mit freundlichen Grüßen (mit FROYNT-likh-en GRÜ-sen) — Kind regards
Vielen Dank im Voraus. (FEE-len DANK im FOR-ows) — Many thanks in advance
6) Expressing disagreement politely
German work culture values opinions — but they must be framed carefully.
Aus meiner Sicht wäre das sinnvoll. (ows MY-ner ZIKHT VÄ-reh das ZIN-fol) — From my perspective, that would make sense.
Ich bin mir nicht ganz sicher, ob das der richtige Ansatz ist. (ish bin meer nikht gants ZI-kher, ob das dair RIKH-ti-geh AN-zats ist) — I’m not entirely sure this is the right approach.
Conditional forms (wäre, könnte) add politeness.
7) Polite German in meetings
Politeness in meetings is about turn‑taking and clarity.
Darf ich kurz etwas ergänzen? (darf ish koorts ET-vas er-GEN-tsen) — May I briefly add something?
Wenn ich kurz einhaken darf … (ven ish koorts INE-hah-ken darf) — If I may jump in briefly …
Ich würde vorschlagen, dass wir … (ish VÜR-deh FOR-shlah-gen, das veer) — I would suggest that we …
8) Saying no without sounding rude
Saying no directly can sound harsh. Germans soften refusals structurally.
Das ist aktuell leider nicht möglich. (das ist ak-TOO-el LY-der nikht MÖKH-likh) — Unfortunately, that’s not possible at the moment.
Das können wir so nicht umsetzen. (das KÖN-nen veer zo nikht OOM-zet-sen) — We can’t implement it like that.
Notice the absence of emotional language.
9) Being polite about deadlines
Deadlines are treated seriously. Politeness does not mean vagueness.
Könnten Sie mir bitte bis Freitag Rückmeldung geben? (KÖN-ten zee meer BIT-teh bis FRY-tahk RÜK-mel-doong GAY-ben) — Could you please give me feedback by Friday?
Der Termin ist leider nicht zu halten. (dair tair-MEEN ist LY-der nikht tsoo HAL-ten) — Unfortunately, the deadline cannot be met.
10) Apologizing the German way
German apologies are short and factual.
Entschuldigen Sie bitte die Verspätung. (ent-SHOOL-di-gen zee BIT-teh dee fer-SHPAY-toong) — Please excuse the delay.
Das war mein Fehler. (das vahr mine FAY-ler) — That was my mistake.
Over‑apologizing can sound insincere.
11) Saying thank you professionally
Thanks are brief but meaningful.
Vielen Dank für Ihre Unterstützung. (FEE-len DANK für EE-reh oon-ter-SHTÜT-soong) — Thank you very much for your support.
Besten Dank. (BES-ten DANK) — Many thanks.
12) Polite escalation language
Escalation is done politely but clearly.
Ich möchte das Thema kurz eskalieren. (ish MÖKH-teh das TAY-mah koorts es-kah-LEE-ren) — I’d like to briefly escalate this topic.
Dazu brauche ich Ihre Entscheidung. (dah-tsoo BROW-kheh ish EE-reh ent-SHY-doong) — I need your decision on this.
13) Small talk — how much is polite?
Being polite does not mean oversharing.
Ich hoffe, Sie hatten ein gutes Wochenende. (ish HO-feh zee HAT-ten ine GOO-tes VOH-khen-en-deh) — I hope you had a good weekend.
Then move to business.
14) Politeness in written vs spoken German
Written German is more formal than spoken German.
Wie bereits besprochen … (vee beh-RYTS beh-SHROKH-en) — As already discussed …
Zur Kenntnisnahme. (tsoor KENT-nis-nah-meh) — For your information.
Final takeaway: polite German is structured German
Politeness in German is learnable.
Memorize these core sentences:
- Könnten Sie mir bitte helfen? (KÖN-ten zee meer BIT-teh HEL-fen) — Could you please help me?
- Ich würde vorschlagen, dass wir … (ish VÜR-deh FOR-shlah-gen, das veer) — I would suggest that we …
- Aus meiner Sicht wäre das sinnvoll. (ows MY-ner ZIKHT VÄ-reh das ZIN-fol) — From my perspective, that would make sense.
- Das ist aktuell leider nicht möglich. (das ist ak-TOO-el LY-der nikht MÖKH-likh) — That’s not possible at the moment.
If you can use these, you already sound polite to German ears.